Last week we had an impromptu get-together of the various cardboard ‘gods of our time’ which we’ve so far made. A few of the original ones are looking a bit tatty round the edges as a result of their various adventures. Poor old Lady Justice now has to travel in two halves. But hey, that’s the natural process of ageing – human or cardboard.

Seeing them all squeezed together in my dining room, we wondered what they might chat about with each other if left alone so we had a go at some improv dialogue which always results in surprising insights. 

Here’s just a snippet of a sofa chat between Death and ‘Convenience’ – one of our modern gods who has overstepped his useful boundaries and become a dominating force in our lives and our society. What could counter his largely unquestioned force?

Death: What’s all the hurry Convo? What exactly are you saving time for? Having ‘saved’ it, what do you actually do with it? You do realise you have NO idea when I’m going to show up.

Convenience: That’s bloody inconvenient of you!

Death: It certainly is. I am the ultimate inconvenience.

Convenience: Ah, but these days I can call up an online service who will collect the dead body, cremate it without me needing to be there and then deliver the ashes back to me in a nice pot… maybe even on the same day. Death done and dusted without me moving from the sofa. Pffff. 

Death: I’m really regretting that I contracted out the post dying stuff which I used to look after myself – it’s the deep learning of the universal mystery of death and finding oneself outside earthly time for a while remembering, respecting, mourning and laughing together. Some people don’t even bother with flowers any more… even plastic ones. I hate plastics because they don’t die – big mistake. But, you know Convo, however quick and convenient these contracted services are, you can’t actually dodge death or even ‘make more time’.